The 7-Habits of Highly Effective People

World-renowned author Stephen Covey in his book 'The 7-Habits of Highly Effective People' has identified and captured universal principles that when followed can help anyone achieve the best of their potential. These habits can be learnt and followed by individuals, families and in work place by teams and organization. These habits are timeless principles and can be a guide to anyone to help them be successful.

This book is ideally suited for people who have had some years of experience in the work place and are trying to balance work and family life. Some of the examples and background used may not resonate to college going students or young adults. However, all can benefit by learning all the 7-Habits. This book is a masterpiece for anyone looking for personal growth in the modern world we all live in. I have summarized the various habits, and highlighted what I thought was gist of the various chapters.

The 7-habits divided in two broad areas of effectiveness- Independent and Interdependent habits; Independent Habits are - 1) Proactive, 2) Begin with End in Mind and 3) First things First; What these mean - using the computer metaphor: 1) You are the programmer of your life - i.e. in charge of your life and responsible; 2) You then define the program for your life - what you want to accomplish; 3) You execute the program, starting with the most important things first. The habits for effective interdependence are: Habit 4) Think Win-Win, Habit 5) Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood and Habit 6) Synergize; After having developed the habits of true independence, one can effectively work on ‘Public Victories’ of teamwork, cooperation and communication using Habits 4, 5 and 6. Habit 7 - is the habit of looking for continuous learning and continuous improvement for all aspects of one's life.

Habit 1: Be Proactive -

Before delving into what being proactive means, it is first good to understand widely accepted theories that try to explain the nature of man. The nature of man is typically explained by the following three aspects: 1) Genetics - It is in your DNA, you inherited the nature; 2) Psychic - Your current actions are because of your upbringing and the emotional scripting from your childhood and youth; and 3) Environmental - Someone (spouse, boss, etc.) or something (financial, social, etc.) in your environment determines your actions.

Are these reasons accurate? NO!

Proactivity is defined as - between stimulus and response there is a freedom of choice. This freedom of choice comes from the four unique human endowments - Self Awareness - i.e. the ability to explore one's actions and feelings; Imagination - Ability to visualize beyond the present; Conscience - A sense of right and wrong; Independent Will - Ability to act without any influence.

Using these unique human endowments, we can and need to train ourselves in being proactive, so that our actions and words are a result of our conscious decision rather than our conditioning, i.e. overcome our nature and nurture conditioning. Don’t let yesterday hold tomorrow hostage.

How to train to be proactive?

• Circle of influence vs. Circle of Concern: Circle of Influence comprises of things that we have a direct control over, and we can take actions to affect the outcome. Circle of Concern consists of things we have no control over e.g.: what happened in the past. The goal of being proactive is to work within the circle of influence and not in the circle of concern. Actions that comprises of ‘Circle of Concern’ are: complaining, comparing, criticizing and competing are cancers of behavior. The goal is live and work within one’s ‘circle of influence’; this will result in increasing the influence and reduce the ‘circle of concern’.

• Awareness of our language: We need to use the language that shows that we are responsible and we have a choice in the actions we took or are going to take. E.g.: instead of ‘I had to..’ , ‘I choose to..’

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind -

This chapter begins with powerful visualization exercise - You are going to attend a funeral of a loved one, as you walk in you see all your friends and family, as you eventually reach the casket, you are face to face with yourself in the casket. How would you want to be remembered? Which of your contributions, accomplishments would be most remembered?

With that end in mind - develop a personal mission statement. Mission statement will help ensure that when you are climbing the proverbial ladder, it is against the wall you want to climb and not the wrong wall.

Why have a mission statement - For anything to be created there are Two creations - First creation is the vision or mental creation and the second creation is physical realization of the creation. This is reflective habit to envision your goals and the next habit of putting “first things first’ is the habit to realize this vision.

To help create a personal mission statement, examine the various roles you play in life

And what drives you. Everyone has varying motivating factors (Centers) that they focus on, examples of these Centers are - Work, Family, Money, Possessions etc.. The goal needs to be to move towards principle center. Principle center is working with Trust, Honest, Integrity, and Fairness among other positive principles, in all the various roles of one’s life.

Habit 3 : First Things First -

The habit of putting ‘First Things First’ is fulfillment as a result of ‘Being Proactive’ and ‘Beginning with the End in Mind’. This habit is the second creation - the first creation was the mental creation due to beginning with the ‘end in mind’, this habit is the physical creation.

Habit 3 is essential practicing effective self-management. Habit 3 then is the ‘execution’ of the personal vision that was created by Habit 2. Self-Management requires the discipline to carry-out the steps needed to achieve our personal vision. The unique human endowment of ‘Independent will’ makes effective self-management possible. Discipline comes from following one’s own deep values and using the ‘independent will’ to subordinate your feelings, impulses and moods to the deeper values.

One of the effective tools to put ‘First things first’ is the concept of ‘Fourth Generation’ time management introduced by Stephen. Fourth generation time management focuses on accomplishing results and on preserving and enhancing relationships. This is opposed to the earlier time management focus on ‘Efficiency’ and ‘Control’.

One of the effective ways off time management is to divide where our time is spent into four quadrants - I) Important and Urgent II) Important but Not Urgent III) Not important but Urgent and IV) Not Important and Non-Urgent (time wasters, busywork etc.). The goal should be to spend more time focusing on Quadrant II) activities. These include - Planning, Prevention, Relationship building, Recognizing new opportunities etc. Some of the results of focusing on quadrant ii) - Vision, Perspective, Balance between all aspects, and fewer crises.

Another effective approach to increase Production (P) and Production Capacity (PC) is via ‘Stewardship Delegation’ which involves clear, up-front mutual understanding and commitment regarding expectations in areas of: Desired results, Guidelines, Resources, Accountability, Consequences.

Paradigms of Interdependence:

Habits 1,2 and 3 help us achieve true independence by helping us take responsibility; making commitments and keeping the commitments, i.e. help us achieve ‘Private Victory’. Once we have developed the ‘Character Ethic’ we can move into the area of being interdependent - capable of building enduring and highly productive relationship with others.

Before going into interdependent habit Stephen introduces the metaphor of ‘Emotional Bank Account’ to describe the trust being built up in a relationship. Six major deposits that build up the Emotional bank account are : Understanding the individual, Attending to the little things, Keeping Commitments, Clarifying expectations, Showing Personal Integrity, Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal.

The habits for effective interdependence are : Habit 4) Think Win-Win, Habit 5) Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood and Habit 6) Synergize; After having developed the habits of true independence, one can effectively work on ‘Public Victories’ of teamwork, cooperation and communication using Habits 4, 5 and 6.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win:

Win-Win is a paradigm of human interaction where we are constantly seeking solutions that are mutually beneficial and satisfying, and all parties feel committed to the action plan. Win-Win is based on the paradigm of ‘Abundance Mentality’ - i.e. there is plenty for everybody and the goal is to grow the ‘Whole Pie’ and not go for the biggest share of the ‘pie’. It is a belief in Third Alternative - no your way or my way - a better way, higher way.

The Five Dimensions of Win-Win are: 1) Character 2) Relationships 3) Agreements 4) Supportive Systems; and 5) Processes.

Character: Three essential character traits for a Win-Win Paradigm are (a) Integrity (b) Maturity and (c) Abundance Mentality.

Habits 1, 2 and 3 help us develop and maintain integrity. Maturity is defined as the balance between courage and consideration. There is deep scripting of ‘Scarcity Mentality’ for most people i.e zero-sum paradigm of life. However, an Abundance mentality is needed for win-win, and this is derived from inner sense of personal worth and security. The paradigm of Abundance mentality is that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody.

Relationships: Trust and ‘Emotional Bank Account’ is the essence in building win-win relationship. This requires consistent actions of honest, open and clear communication. Respect and respond for other people’s need.

Agreements: Win-Win agreements have five explicit elements - 1) Desired results (not methods) (2) Guidelines (3) Resources (4) Accountability and (5) Consequences.

Management philosopher Peter Drucker suggested the use ‘managers letter’ to capture agreement between manager and employee. Typical performance agreement results in consequences in these four areas - 1) Financial 2) Psychic - recognition, credibility etc. 2) Opportunity - Training, perks etc. 4) Responsibility.

Systems and Processes: Win-Win can only survive in an organization if the system supports it. The reward system needs to be aligned with these goals and values. System needs to foster an environment of cooperation instead of competition.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood

Communication consists of four different forms - Reading, Writing, Speaking and Listening. A lot of emphasis is put on learning how to read, write and speak. Comparatively very little training and attention is given to the skill of listening.

There are different levels of Listening - Ignoring, Pretend listening, Selective Listening, Attentive Listening and Empathic Listening. Empathic Listening is the highest form of listening where the goal is understand. I.e. not listen with intent to reply or judge, but to truly understand how the other person feels. Typical listening is autobiographical and response is usually one of the four ways:

• Evaluating - Where you judge, and then agree or disagree;

• Probing - Ask questions to control the conversation and to make your point;

• Advising - Give advice and provide solutions to problems; and

• Interpreting - Analyze others motives based on your own experience.

Best way to try to achieve empathic listening is to rephrase the content and reflect the feeling in your response to the other person’s satisfaction. Typical habit of trying to prescribe before diagnosing can be avoided by taking steps to understand the other person. Understanding the other person can only happen via listening. Understanding the other person is the psychological equivalent of air for the other person

Habit 6: Synergize

Habit 4 Think Win-Win is the root of having an effective interdependence, Habit - Seek first to understand and then to be understood is the route, and these leads to the fruit of effective interdependence - Synergy.

Synergy is creative co-operation, where the result will be greater than the sum of the parts. Synergy involves valuing the differences, valuing others viewpoints and perspective and creating third alternative solutions that all involved can feel good about.

Synergy is more than compromise, compromise typically results in 1 + 1 = 1 ½ type solution, where the communication is based on medium level of trust and cooperation. Synergy is finding the solution where 1 + 1 can lead to 11, 110 or more and is based on very high level of trust and high level of cooperation between all involved.

Uniformity is not unity, sameness is not oneness, by valuing differences and via creative co-operation, and one can gain new insight and invent a third alternative.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Sharpening the saw is the act of continuous renewal and learning. There are four dimensions that require continuous renewal: Physical (Body), Mental (Mind), Social (Heart) and Spiritual (Soul).

The physical and mental aspect - Body and Mind aspect is fairly well understood. Social refers to the time spent in building better relationships with family and friends. Spiritual refers to renewing and reviewing our mission statement and look to improve and our time doing more meaningful and service oriented work

Renewal is the process that enables us to move in an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement. Upward Spiral requires us to - Learn, Commit and Do - on an increasingly higher plane.

By applying these principles, we can achieve Unity and Balance with oneself and people around us increasing our effectiveness.